Budget gives Ian Duncan Smith a stiffy

George Osborne has promised a minimum wage of £9 per hour by 2020 for those who can be bothered to get off their arse, resulting in an aroused Work and Pensions Secretary. 

With today’s budget, the Chancellor has outlined a number of policies. These include the national living wage, tax reduction and cuts to benefits.

Mr Osbonre commented: “it has been my life dream to round-up all those lazy, disgusting individuals, who grab all the cash they can get their filthy hands on, and murder them in front of their families. That’s how my good chum Jeremy Clarkson would put it anyway”.

“I also had a bet with Ian. First one to pop a pleasure rod has to go door to door in Burnley giving all the positive reasons for these changes before sniggering and running away. See you soon pal”.