Bullshit compulsory for marathon runners

For all marathon runners it is now compulsory to come up with some bullshit reason as to why they are so much better than everyone else. 

For all those taking part in today’s London marathon a number of talking points have been issued to arm them in any conversation.

This includes bollocks such as pushing your body to the very limit, serious chaffing injuries, soaking in the unparalleled atmosphere, and a sense of accomplishment that cannot be challenged.

Paolo Leone who ran his first marathon back in 2009 said that “before I saw the light and signed up I was just an ordinary human being. But now, after pushing through my lowest point and reaching ecstasy, I am better than you. In every single way”.

“I’ve only eaten raw tuna and kale for the past four months, as I only want to give my body the fuel it needs. You just don’t get it”.